Blind Vice: Reckless Teenthrob Dares to Be Outted!

Crescent Kumquat is the latest closeted star buffoon to hook up on Craigslist

By Ted Casablanca Jan 15, 2010 5:00 PMTags
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We're clearly not in the match-making business, but if we were, these two closeted stars could totally be a good thing together: Remember Crescent Kumquat and Topher-Hairy Tuchas? Both equally gorgeous studs who have equally big...secrets?

If it weren't for their large-ish age gap, we would totally predict these two guys to be swapping gorgeous hair secrets and then some behind closed doors.

Why, you ask? Because Crescent has been pulling a card straight from Hairy Tuchas's cruising-for-sex ways by using...

...Craigslist to shack up with dudes! No way!

Remember, we've seen the emergence of Crescent's flaming personality over the last year or so. First with a few boy-on-boy cuddles, then with some innocent necking and now, full-on getting it on with guys. And he's not exactly being stealth about it, either.

What is it with dudes like Kumquat and Topher who have easily recognizable faces, yet who use Craigslist to get their gay sex on? Hello, that is so asking to get caught. Come on, this is beyond, say, Toothy Tile doing it in a car in a West Hollywood parking lot, people. This is practically an engraved invitation to be outted, for heaven's sake!

Maybe, ultimately, that's what these guys want? To be finally known as who they are, but do they want someone else to do the dirty work for 'em? Remember, Toothy just loves to get it on in super public places with Grey Goose, but even they have toned it down, as of late.

Seriously, I'd put my money on Toothy coming out before Crescent. C.K. and Topher really have to rely on their large female fan bases to keep their careers going. If the girls go, so do the jobs. Particularly Crescent's. His face is totally plastered all over the Teen Beat girlie-sphere. If that demo only knew the truth!

And It Ain't: Jackson Rathbone, Paul Wesley, Justin Beiber

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Who else has secrets? Everyone! Here are 25 faves in our Blind Vice Superstars gallery.