Ryan O'Neal: I See Farrah Every Day

Tue., Jul. 21, 2009 8:04 AM PDT by Breanne L. Heldman

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Ryan O'Neal has had a rough couple of years.

As evidenced in the Emmy-nominated Farrah's Story, for nearly three years, he coped with holding the hand of his longtime love, Farrah Fawcett, as she battled cancer. And for the past month since her June 25 death, he has been coping with life without his angel.

On the Today show this morning, the 68-year-old actor told Meredith Viera of his final conversations with the beauty—as well as his current conversations with her.

"I said I'd see her soon," O'Neal recalled of his last moments with Farrah. "And I see her every day. And I write to her. I write in my journal now, to her."

The star is encouraging his son with Fawcett, 24-year-old Redmond O'Neal, to do the same, despite his current residence in prison for a probation violation stemming from a previous drug conviction.

"Redmond says he's trying to see her," his father explained. "It's a little harder in a reformatory to grieve, so I told him to be patient and, when he got out, we'd grieve together."

Redmond served as a pallbearer at his mother's funeral and had his own final conversations with her over the phone.

"I held the phone to her ear," Ryan said of Farrah's last chat with her son. "I think it was about regret and the horror of not being able to see her again. And the promise, the promise of a good life. Of a life that she would be proud of. Because he is her legacy. And he knows that, finally, it's clear. And he has a plan, a wonderful plan in mind to restore order in his life. And he will, with my help."

Both father and son appear comfortable with the way they were able to say farewell to the Charlie's Angels stunner.

Said the man who watched her take her final breath, "We all kissed her goodbye and hugged her and held her and didn't want to let her go."

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Remember the fallen angel in our Farrah Fawcett: A Life gallery.