Taylor Swift's Red Lace Las Vegas Dress Crafted by Adorable Forest Creatures, Probably

At the iHeartRadio Music Festival in Las Vegas, Taylor Swift trotted onto the red carpet in a predictably sweet and tweeny red lace baby-doll dress.

When Taylor Swift wakes up in the morning, she rises from her bed of posies—slowly, so that her halo of nestling bluebirds has time to shake off the morning dew and flitter away, chittering the melodies that will later become tunes like "We Are Never Ever Getting Back Together."

Then the gentle winds of spring whisper by and fashion a dress made of out the first kiss of sunshine, or some crap like that, and another day is born for a girl and her guitar.

We get it: Swift likes to dress all pert and sweet and retro, kind of like a von Trapp child, if a von Trapp child also had a stylist and an entourage. We ain't mad at her preference for floral lace and June Carter Cash silhouettes. After all, it's the perfect audition wardrobe for possible future Kennedys.

But a warning—keep delving into twee territory, Taylor, and Zooey Deschanel is gonna kill you in your sleep.